1. Mixing oranges, olive oil, and granulated sugar on all the dry spots on our skin. This was extremely fun to make. I got to smash out the guts of innocent citrus fruits while they silently pleaded for mercy--every girl's dream, right? The sugar was extremely cool to watch soak up all the oily-ness. When we rubbed it all over feet (haha!) it was instantly...SMOOTH! So we have all deemed this method: CRAZY, SMELLING AWESOME, AND SUPER SOFT. Feel free to fondle my feet frequently.
2. Rubbing slices of cucumbers and strawberries all over our faces. This resulted in us sticking them to our faces and laughing like crazy, which is what any average teenage girl would do when she has fruit plastered to her face, right? Anyways, this is supposed to tighten our pores. Janey, do you find you pores to be tightened?
Janey: *looks over at me with love and humor blissfully sparkling in her hazel eyes* Yes.
Chanme, what about you? Do you feel all tight, pores-wise?
Chanme: *swooning at my presence* Yes!
What about you, me?
Me: Oh heck to the yes.
Case closed.
3. Our Failed Experiment.
It was here that us three virtuous ladies "wimped out". But oh! As I typed that dreary sentence, Comrade Janey wiped this horrid liquid stink all over her lovely, innocent face. She states "It doesn't smell that bad when you put it on." Chanme dutifully followed her friend into this smelly doom, but she panicked after applying and immediately fled to the bathroom to wipe the nasty odor off of her sweet Korean face. What was it, you asked? Apple cider vinegar, four crushed aspirins, and distilled water. Smells like puke. Looks like puke. Janey and Chanme report that their faces indeed, feel softer. But I won't resort to rubbing that liquid fart all over my face. No sir. On to the next project!
4. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. In which we, the daring duo plus one, have spread chunks of mashed banana, egg yolk, and tea tree oil in our luxurious locks in attempts to make it shiny. Reports will come in soon, but at the moment, we've got to wait ten minutes while this strange concoction takes hold of our scalps. Needless to say, I don't look very attractive right now, having plastic wrapped around my head to hide giant chunks of potassium in my blonde hair. Chanme looks like a greaser, in a cool way, and I can smell her banana-vibes from here. Janey looks like some chic hippie woman, and this is just a regular part of her day. I, on the other hand, look like a gothic lunch lady who came back after being fired and is ready to suicide-bomb the whole school with a bomb that smells of bananas.
END RESULT OF BANANA ESCAPADE
Don't you ever dare to do what we just did. We have bananas caught in our hair. LOTS OF BANANAS. In fact, one could say, that we most likely will have a banana complex after this. We all washed our hair three times over and there is STILL bananas. STILL. The good news is, we all donned swimsuits and had a group bath time in attempts to save water...okay, that's a lie, we did it because it was freaking hilarious. But now we are all cozy in our pajamas and sick and tired of bananas, but still very happy and content.
So what do you do when your boyfriend is grounded?
And when you can't eat gluten for another two months?
And when your friends and family live an ocean away?
You rub fruit all over your bodies and laugh until you almost pee.
I love my friends.
