Valentine's Day Rant--Wayy Early

Valentine's Day is coming up! GASP! I have conflicting feelings for the whole holiday. I love it when I have someone to celebrate it with, but, of course, that means I usually hate it. Here are some things about Valentine's Day that I hate no matter who/what I'm with (I say what because I once dated a sea monster).

1. "Conversation Hearts". You know what I'm talking about. Those lame things that taste (and write!) like chalk that say "Marry Me", "Be Mine", "Call Me". I have YET to have an actual conversation thanks to those hearts, and better yet, I've only been given those crappy excuses for sugar by girls, so IDK *what* that means, but I'm pretty sure I do *not* want to find out.
2. Romance films. I like about four romance movies, and I assure you, NONE of them have anything to do with Valentine's Day. Mainly, because, all good romance does NOT happen on Valentine's Day.
3. Store-Bought Valentine's Day Cards. I expressed my hatred for these things to my best friend. Basically, they're impersonal, cheap, and they rip like crazy when you're trying to shove them into some kid's Valentine's Day box.

Last year, my Valentine's Day was mediocre. I got stuff, which is awesome possum, BUT, I went to see a movie about suicide awareness. Romantic? No, not really. I really don't think watching a kid blow his brains out is romantic to anyone...maybe zombie couples. I have no idea what I'm gonna do this V-Day, I usually have an Anti-Valentine's Day Party, but last year that bombed. So, if anyone has suggestions, I would gladly appreciate your commentary in the comment place ^^

Let Me Be Your Muse

I am very odd. We all know this, I'm sure. But I've often questioned myself about why do I act so weird sometimes. And today, I finally realized it. I am desperately waiting for a boy to write a song about me.

OK, OK, let me explain. I've grown up with rock music, and in rock n roll land, women are way more beautiful and amazing when they are completely different. Take for example "She Talks to Angels". That song, this woman is bizarre. Take "Freefalling". That woman, again, is weird. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"---well, that whole SONG is bizarre.... Anyways. Men who are rockers dig the oddball chickadees. So, I think I do things weirder and weirder just so that one day, a boy will come up to me, look me dead in the eye and say "Baby, you inspire me." and hand me the lyrics to a song all about my oddities. I think the lyrics would go a little something like this:

"Oh, darling, the way you thrift shop like a maniac,

Makes me wanna go into cardiac

ARREST.

Oh, baby, I love the fact you're addicted to Chinese,

Not the people but the food, so buy these

PANTS.

Oh, sweetheart, no one works those rain boots like you

Even though it's a hundred degrees outside this June,

TWO-THOUSAND ELEVEN.

So, girl, I'm a rockstar, and you're freaking gorgeous,

But so mysterious,

Like some funky modern art no one really understands but pretends that they do,

Which is why I'm here to say, you freaky and attractive lady,

Baby, I love you."

Maybe not that exactly, but you should be able to get my point. I had this idea while eating blue ice cream, by the way. So, if you're a rocker and can write a song, be sure to include that. ;)

Welcome to My Mom's Nightmares

I just want you all to know that I am listening to the Iron Man soundtrack on my Pandora radio, and I feel like I need to walk in front of an exploding building--slowly---while taking off sunglasses. Because this soundtrack is HARD.CORE. If I reset my music playlist from Indie rock to epic film scores you'd all be reading this blog like it was some sort of secret code you had to hack. Maybe, just maybe, IT IS.

Moving on as begrudgingly as possible from the topic of awe-inspiring movie soundtracks, let's move on to my favorite topic: MY MOM. I love my mom. She's the silliest redhead out there since that girl on the Wendy's sign. But my mother seems to have problems with me--a lot. Which, I mean, if I looked back on my life when I'm thirty seven, I'm sure I'd have issues with me, too. But I'm still a teenager, and I'm blissfully enjoying my whole "I'm invincible" phase. Point is, is that I was thinking about what I'd be like if my mother ever had a nightmare of me. And I think I've figured it out.

It all starts cheerfully, in my mother's dream. The skies are bright blue, there are vitamins dancing under rainbows, and a big black lady is playing a fiddle in a meadow. My mom would be dancing a mix between the cabbage-patch and the riverdance. THEN! The clouds rumble like a fat guy's stomach and they darken like an old lady's upper lip hair. Lightning strikes, and sets a bunny on fire during the process. I appear, my hair dyed black with green highlights and I'm wearing a shirt with skulls and the horrid words "GUNS AND ROSES" printed on my chest. I have tons of tattoos covering my arms, all of them of horror movie characters. Suddenly, I whip out a phone CHOCK FULL OF RADIOACTIVITY and text! I text and text and text! I also am simultaneously watching Family Guy! I kick a kitten and I donate all my money towards NO CHARITIES! I then eat out the heart of a Cabbage Patch doll, and throw all of it up in my already dirty laundry.

THAT is what my mother has nightmares about. To be honest, I sorta freaked myself out.

Make coffee, not war. Peace!

A Few of My Favorite Things

So, here's a crash-course update of my life so far:

IhaveaKoreanexchangestudentsisternamedChanmeandIloveher

Seasonofthewitchisthedumbestmovieofalltimeandthedemonlookslikeatree

IamaddictedtothriftstoreshoppingandImayneedanintervention

IlikeAsainfood.

There ya go.

NOW! Cool stuff I enjoy! HERE WE GO!

Wheat fields are the bomb. When I see one, I want to wear a big flowy dress and sit in it and read a book. That, and

make snow-angels but with grass. That may end up messy though...oh well....

I like emo hair. I like emo hair A LOT. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to have legit emo hair. But, I still admire from

afar.

I love old books. I like the smell, the feel, the look, ...the sound?the taste? Whatever. I think they look classy and

idiots look refined when they hold them. Tell me that ain't magic.

I'm addicted. Seriously. Try to catch me not wearing nail polish. Just try. Little secret? YOU WON'T CATCH ME NOT

WEARING NAIL POLISH.

The end.

A Bit of a Fail

New Year's Resolutions(revolutions? maybe so!)

1. Drop a cantaloupe from a roof that is full of glitter. I really wanted to do this for New Year's Eve, but none of my friends were game. So...I'm gonna do it!
2. Stop being a fool for love. I really don't feel like explaining my reasoning for this one. I'm not saying "don't fall in love". I'm saying "stop thinking that it's gonna work out every time."
3. Do something extremely rebellious and get caught laughing. I'm sick of being a good girl all the time. Note that when I say rebellious, I'm not talking about sex, drugs, drinking, or stealing. I just mean something no one would expect me to do. Nothing illegal, just something frowned upon by society.
4. Try more kinds of food. Recently, I've been obsessed with Asian food, which is a big leap for me, considering that I hated it with a passion for years. So, maybe we can keep this going!
5. Be pretty. Don't really wanna explain this one either.

Highlights of 2010 (and by highlights I mean major things, not WHOOO HOO! although some can be WHOO HOO!)

1. Turning 16 and realizing that it's not all it's cracked up to be.
2. Breaking up with my boyfriend of over a year.
3. Seeing my niece and becoming her favorite person for a day.
4. Going to church camp, hating it, but surviving it and loving my friends more.
5. Switching from homeschool to private school.
6. Meeting people from other countries.
7. Shopping more than I have ever shopped ever ever ever.

And the rest may be boring to you guys. I was planning on a big fat post full of laughs and humor, but I've been extremely depressed lately and it's sort of affecting my writing style. Sorry, folks. Maybe next post, I can make you happier :) Just sorta need to figure crap out.

Happy New Year!