Dear New Hunger Games Fans,
I see you just re-read Mockingjay for the umpteenth time and are just about to text some other Hunger Games fan about how you're so glad Katniss is with Peeta and how you wish it ended different but OMG for realz you are so so excited for the movie, can you believe it's coming out in a month??????
Let me stop you there.
I am your predecessor. I am Veteran Hunger Games Fan. I read those books you're squealing over two years ago. And let me be the first but hopefully not the last to tell you something:
Shut up.
Here are a few facts I can assume about you right off the bat:
- You never read books for fun except for
- Twilight, which you're still hung up about and also
- You're most definitely a teenage
- Girl who found this book because of
- A friend JUST LIKE YOU
This is a mania, kids. You are overreacting. If you were a normal book nerd like myself and my coven of others, I would accept you. But the fact that I see you more interested in wearing atrocious boots and gossiping about a boy you'll forget in four years gives me pause. What is a girl like you reading a book? And then I realized you're suffering from a serious illness.
Post-Twilight Obsessive Pop Culture Trash Shock.
Or PTOPCTS. Or better yet "Boredom".
Please stop talking about these books everyday of your life. They're really good, yes, I'll give you that. But that book you just read in school? The Great Gatsby? Or even The Old Man and the Sea? Has about twenty times more meaning and value than this little fad you latched your teeth on. And sure, we all love talking about popular stuff. For awhile, I've indulged you and entered your little chit-chats, happy that maybe my generation is reading again after Twilight. But then I realized how ugly this situation is getting.
You are going to take over the world and I am onto you.
And the rest of us Veterans are onto you.
We will find you.
We will find you and take away your posters of Liam Hensworth and while we're at it, we will take your ugly boots, too.
We can't let another Twilight phenom-situation ruin our reputation AGAIN.
What am I talking about?
Look at the teen book sections of wherever you want. Count how many vampire books there are. Yeah. *That*.
Don't screw us over again.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Veteran
Author's Note: I am not personally angry at any individual for finding the Hunger Games. They're very good books. It's just the excessive blabber that I'm starting to feel a little homicidal towards.
Agree? Disagree? Spar it out below.
:( In my defense, I wanted to read these when I first heard about them four years ago. But, my library didn't have them; and I don't like spending money on books of which I don't know the quality. I rely on other people's(meaning best friend) recommendations, especially for books like these. And I am most certainly NOT a Twilight fan!
ReplyDeleteThat is acceptable, dear Reader. I mean the girls who don't ever read and just are reading because of the attractive men in the movie. So do not fret. I am not venting at you :)
DeleteOkay first of all I've already tried commenting twice but my stupid safari keeps crashing. So let's type this again...
ReplyDeleteI'm just happy that I'm a veteran reader and this post isn't directed towards me. Especially since I'm not a girl who only reads for attractive actors. O.o Maybe if Emma Watson started writing I'd follow that trend ;) I can relate with your frustration with the problem of those hundreds of vampire series that popped up after twilight. I hate looking for books *ahem* I means "boobs" at the library anymore because of all of them. I don't think that will happen with these books though. I don't see anyway you could write another series like the Hunger Games without totally ripping off the originals. "Maybe we could name her Katniss EverGREEN and she'll be addicted to gum" Ya, that'll go over well. But besides this really long comment I'm glad to see your back to blogging! And that a person besides me commented. Whoever anonymous is O.o We'll have to find out. Overall, I liked the post and you should keep on ranting because they usually make me laugh. Hard. So hard I pee myself a little bit but not to much to get embrassed about. Don't tease me. It's a normal reaction to humor.