It's Not You, It's Me

Listen, I'm sorry I've been so distant. I've just...I don't know, moved on...I feel so comfortable with you and we've had our fun, but, I mean, who are we kidding? A year from now, we'll look back at this and laugh. We can still be friends, right? It's not you, it's me.

Okay, can we get back together now? I promise I won't make out with you. ...Right off the bat.

Yeah, yeah, kids, I've been gone for awhile. I've gotten more into the Youtube thing and less into the writing-things-down thing. I had to play the field. I'm sorry, baby, you know I love you.


UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

• Willy Wonka--muy excellente.
• I read a lot more.
• I saw a dead cat yesterday and I'm scarred for life.
• I tried losing weight and realized I like food.
• I tried other teas.

That's been my life. I know, we've come a long way. *sarcastic eyebrow wiggle*

I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things and blog again. We'll see if I'm faithful. Because, you know, I'm like a wolf mixed with Miley Cyrus...I CAN'T BE TAMED. 

So, here is post one of the new and improved MMWAR. Please say that out loud. 

You sound like a cat with marbles in its mouth.