I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell.

One day, I'll be famous. Not for singing (I don't think I can), not for acting (I don't want to be in that), not for writing (I wish.). No, I'll be famous because I'm going to be on television. Oh, no, not on Glee or any popular T.V. show. No, I'm going to be on a hoarder's intervention show. I'm sure of it. With all the weird things I collect, people are going to question my sanity very quickly.

Man: Welcome to "Hoarder's Collected", a television dedicated to the lifestyles and issues dealing with hoarders and their tragic lives. We got a phone call from a friend of a young lady who has dealt with hoarding since, they say, first grade. We're here to observe and intervene in this woman's life and try to make a change. Let's take a look inside.

(Walks up the front drive and stops instantly)

Man: Why are there so many garden gnomes in this yard?! There's got to be at least two hundred! And there's glass bottles hanging from the trees?! This woman must be an alcoholic or something... <NOTE: I love garden gnomes. They're so quirky and adorable. And I saw in the movie "Because of Winn-Dixie", this scary lady had glass bottles hanging from her tree. I've wanted that for years.>

Man: Let's keep going. (walks up to the door and looks down at the mail slot.) All these envelopes and postcards have crammed into the slot---if you get a close up, Jimmy, you can clearly see that most of these are sent from the very same woman that we're about to meet.

Man: (opens the door that has "Come In", a poem by Shel Silverstein, written all over it). Hello? Anyone here? Hello? Oh my gosh, look at the ceiling, Jimmy! There's a thousand paper cranes above us! Oh, look at the coffee table! There's twenty tea cups in them with buttons crammed in them! And a typewriter with mountains of paper piled against it! And if you draw your attention to the walls--you can easily observe the millions of song lyrics, poems, quotes, and random words...we are truly witnessing a maniac. "Oh, dear, it's been hardly a moment and you are already missed"....I like song lyrics.>

Me: Dude, what are you doing in my house????

Man: WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE WEARING?!

Me: Ummm...a dress, rain boots, a fake mustache, and a top hat, cat's eye glasses, and thirty seven bracelets. Why?

Man: (looks behind her) YOUR BOOK SHELF! IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

Me: Well, duh. There's two thousand books in there. I had to buy two wardrobes to shelve all my books. I never dust them, though.

Man: Is that...trees in your bedroom?

Me: Yeah, they come in through the twelve windows.

Man: Is that...?

Me: Forty bars of soap? Yep. There's more in my eighth closet.

Man: Let's get out of here, Jimmy! This woman is clearly insane!!!!

i know. ^^

Old Kids, New Bands, Old Men

Hey there folks! I've decided today will have no predominated theme, we'll just see what comes outta my fingers :) So, if you enjoy things that have no connection, welcome, you sick little freaks ^^

One thing that has bothered me (I know, I know, what DOESN'T bother me?!) for years now is teenagers pretending to be grown ups. They talk like college professors, they walk with an irritating confidence, and they read books with no comic relief. They are posh and hip, but in reality, they're just plain stupid. Get your head out of the Hemingway novel and enjoy life for awhile. I am a follower of a certain blog written by a teenager, and I never read it because he/she continually enjoys digging in the depths of their soul to cover issues that they've never even lightly brushed upon. You don't care about the stock market. You care about the next time you see that hot boy/girl. You don't enjoy politics. You just want to be safe. You don't like religious opinions. You just wanna go to heaven.

I have to take back something I said eons ago about Indie music. I was very very critical, but now I realize that it's beautiful. You just gotta start with the right bands. Good Indie bands for the Alternative lover:

• Gaslight Anthem
• The Decemberists
• Death Cab for Cutie

A little thing I enjoy looking at is pictures of the popes. Okay, I know, creepy. But old men have this innocence. Old women look perpetually crazy/angry. Some are nice, sure, but I love to stereotype, so there. Old men? Usually cute. I mean, look at this!

D'awwwwwwww

Alright, alright. I'm weird.

Escuchar

"I give myself the very best advice, but I very seldom follow it"--Alice in Wonderland (cartoon)

You ever think of such great advice, you feel the need to be quoted? I sure do. All the time, in fact. But, as the quote above puts it, I very seldom follow it. Here's just a quick crash-course in failed Jennaphilosophy:

• I vowed to always break up with someone as soon as I knew I didn't love them. Um, yeah, never listened, always regretted.
• I vowed never to drink soda pop because I'd get fat. I drink it all the time. I'm getting fat.
• I vowed never to let someone read my diary. I did. They got mad. I got depressed.

So, as you can see, I fail at my own advice. But sometimes, I give such great advice, I feel the need to share. Or sometimes, I say such funny things, I feel the need to be quoted. Here's a few clever things (in my own twisted mind, at least) that I'm willing to share with the world. All from my diary. See Vow #3 and laugh now.

"You know, you can make a thousand promises not to fall in love, but I assure you, you will break them every time. Because love is unstoppable. It is the most fragile thing in the world, and it can end at any given time, but I swear to you---love will never ever die."

"I'm so glad I'm over the stage in my life when boys are no longer human but God Almighty himself."

"Blue reminds me of life. When I see blue, I think of fun. the first time when I realized I loved blue was when I held a robin's egg. The sky blue made me feel like the baby inside was 10% more important because it had the whole sky wrapped into one shell. Then I broke it."

"Just because you've never been in love doesn't mean love doesn't exist. Chances are, you've never been in boiling lava, yet you believe in it, don't you?"

"You don't have a movement? Well, I guess, without any movement, you'd be dead, right?"

"When someone says 'jump!', don't reply 'how high?'. Instead, smile at them politely and kindly knee them in the face."

I and Love and You

So, quick rant, I have finally begun to hate snow. I have been held captive in this madhouse for days. I want to be on a train getting OUT OF HERE all by myself. No annoying people allowed. I'm about to go all Jack Nicholson on this house and start chasing after people with clubs screaming "HERE'S JOHNNY!!!!" That's a Shining reference for all you puzzled people.

Yesterday, I was in a good mood. Mainly because I was ALONE in my QUIET room with a notebook. That's pretty much analogous to me winning the Bachelor and getting alone time with some freak with too-white teeth. Annnnyyyywwwaaayyyys, I compiled a list (can you believe it? Me? A list? I must be insane...) of all the things I loved and I felt extremely extremely happy. So, I'm going to share some of those things (not all, some would bore you, some would embarrass me) in attempts to rise my spirits and possibly make you a little cheerful as well. :)

I love:

Alfred Hitchcock Hour

Oxford shoes

Leather Jackets

The sound of switchblades opening

Tea cups that CLINK!

Shooting stars

Rainy nights

Red lipstick

Weeping willows

Surprises

When boys carve girls' names into trees

Rotary phones

Dusty books

A fresh box of crayons

Shattering dishes

Postcards

Blowing bubbles

The smell of gasoline

Ink pens that leak

Flights of stairs

Cake with pink frosting

Ticonderoga pencils

Weddings

Laundromats

Old men who smoke cigars

Banjo music that isn't classified as bluegrass

Swirly lollipops

Handlebar mustaches

Whispering

Birthday candles

Carmellos

Cherry blossoms

Paint staining my clothes

That old lady who brings fried chicken to potluck no matter what the theme (BLESSYOU)

Brown paper bags

Robins' eggs

Dimples

Fairytales being told at night

Hearing "i love you" when I least expect it

^^ I feel better. What some things you love? Feedback, please <3>

Bless My Little Indie Heart

Here's some things I would have in my perfect world <3

If I had to recreate a world, I think hot air balloon expeditions would have to be a must

And floating lanterns would fill the sky at night.

And I'd own one of these bad boys.

And everyone would chew sugary bright pink bubble gum. And I mean everyone.

I'd own this and look fabulous.

And go to one of these with all my favorite bands playing all night long.

Valentine Guide

You know that I sorta hate Valentine's Day, but the more I rag on it, the more I find myself saying it's really not that bad. You just have to do it right. My past Valentine's Days have been train wrecks, either I'm with someone and they would rather play video games, or I'm alone and my mom buys me stuff to make me feel better (thanks Mom). One year, I had an Anti-Valentine's Day full of angsty teen girls, and that was probably the best of my life. But I can't do that again, because all my friends are taken, or not angsty. (Darn them for being cheerful). So, I have to think of other options. In the meantime, here's a little guide to help out the blissfully taken and possibly happy about it but probably not single folks. Enjoy.

IF YOU ARE TAKEN:

Congrats. No, seriously, good job. I'm jealous. You have someone to give you chocolate that isn't your mom. Seriously, give your partner a big kiss for me, okay? Just so that you know how to appreciate the chocolate-dealers. Moving on...

Valentine's Day is not a day to say I love you. Because, guessing by the fact you're taken, I'm pretty sure they know you love them. No, Valentine's Day is more like a "LET'S PARTY AND NOT BE SINGLE!" day. So, do something fun and out of the ordinary. For example:

1. Picnics. It doesn't have to be dorky and old-fashioned. You can get Mountain Dew and Little Debbie cakes if you wanna. Just go outside, if weather permits, and eat. If not outside, inside! Get a blankie, a basket, maybe some movies?
2. Movie marathons. Okay, you CAN'T get chick-flicks unless they're awful and cheesy, that way you can make fun of it. Please, don't rent the Notebook. Or, you can do a series, like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings...NOT Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
3. Make food together. Bake cookies, pasta, whatever! Just as long as you do it together, it'll be a blast.
4. Play video games. I know I bashed video games a second ago, but hold on. I watched someone else play, and I didn't get to. That's different. Playing together is fun and a competition, so go on ahead.

Gifts.

Just promise me, this Vday, no tattoos of whoever on your arm and NO JEWELRY THAT IS OVER TWENTY BUCKS. You'll regret it later, I pinky promise. Just make something sweet or get them something little if you wanna. No need to go over the top.

IF YOU'RE SINGLE.

Hey buddy. I know what it's like. Believe you me, I know. Go ahead and punch something. It's okay. But hey, at least you're not dating a jerkface, right? There's always a plus.

What you can do!

1. Get together with friends and DO SOMETHING. Lazer Tag, Bowling, going to a park, sleepover, whatever! Chances are, there are some people single like you who are bored to tears. Fix it.
2. Destroy stuff. Do you have old broken furniture or teddy bears leftover from an ex? Burn it, break it, smash it--whatever, just destroy!
3. Make stuff. You can paint a picture of the ideal girl/boy or your ex getting ran over by a truck. You can mess around with Apple's garage band and make a song. You can make a YouTube video. Get creative.
4. Go to a horror film. No romance crap. Just get in and get scared, it's an adrenaline rush.

And everyone, EVERYONE, can make homemade Valentine's Day cards for friends, family, enemies, whatever! I made twenty yesterday and I felt ready to go save kitties from trees.

Chow!

Indemerds and My Dad

You've caught me on a rambling day, Inklings. First of all, if you look outside, you'll realize we are literally being viciously attacked by a snow monster. I love this snow monster on account of now I have decent snow, and no school. So yay!

All my life, I think I've been caught between three stereotypes of people: nerds, emos, and hipsters (Indie rock lovers). I think I need to create a new stereotype just for me call indemerds. Indemerds are people who

• Listen to classy music, rock music, and soundtrack film scores.
• Dress in dresses, skinny jeans, and a tee shirt with a corny inside joke.
• Have wavy, teased, in pigtails hair.
• Read classic literature, don't read, reads science fiction.
• Watches movies that are either in black and white or made for Sundance, watches anything as long as friends are there, watches every single cult classic known to man.
• Shops at thrift stores, Hot Topic, and Vintage Stock.

Yep, that's me in a nutshell.

You know, I don't feel good about this blog because I'm listening to baroque that my Dad is playing. My dad has a very strange variety of hobbies. Maybe I should list them for you so that you realize what I live with and why I'm partially insane before thirty years old.

1. My dad is obsessed with coffee. He makes his own. OK, not so strange, but I mean, I'm just warming up.
2. Dome homes. What the heck is a dome-home, you ask? It's a house with a dome for a roof. We were close to buying a few. We would stop in the middle of nowhere if there was one, and my dad would talk to the owner for about thirty minutes.
3. Storytelling. No, he doesn't tell stories. He just had rented a zillion books from the library about it.
4. Dog Training.
5. Compost building. We still don't have a compost pile, we just rented three videos and seven books about it.
6. Balloon Animals. We don't own any balloons.

I wish he was into hot rod cars, but I guess my dad has some sort of finesse and vigor most men don't understand. I would say this was my Dad's mid-life crisis, but the fact that it's been happening all my life sorta disproves that theory. At least he's rarely bored.