We Rattle in the Back of Your Head Where You Keep Your Broken Toys

When people are exhibiting PDA a little beeper in my mind gets louder and louder. This beeper is attached to my gag reflex, which is attached to my eye-rolling abilities, which then connects directly into my sourpuss face. My beeper gets more and more loud if the couple producing their play of Nasty Affection is a) old b) making noises and c) ANYWHERE NEAR ME.

I have decided when I'm older that I will never do as many dishes I do now. I come home from roller derby to see that my family has overstocked the sink with dishes that look like they contained mashed brains and guts being blown up. When I live alone, it's pizza, sandwiches, and salad. Simple as that. No nasty "DID YOU MURDER SOMEONE!?" stuff in my pots and pans, no sir.

If I had to haunt the earth after I died, I know where I would go. Not in a psychiatric ward or my old house or the place of my beloved. ...I'm hiding in Quik Trip's bathroom. Simple, multi-purpose haunting reaching a wide audience in a clean setting--how neat is that?

Words I can never spell: sandwich (I spell: SANWHICH), sincerely (I spell: SINCERLEY) , humerus (I spell: HUMEROUS).

Words/Phrases I couldn't pronounce as a kid: Walrus (I said: WAAAHWUSS), M&M's (I said: AUNTIE EM'S), Goggles (I said: EYE BOILS), and Hold Me (I said: Holdjewme)

Seeing all those "Cartoonize" yourself apps on Facebook make me wonder...on Bugs Bunny's profile, does it say "Humanize Yourself"?

There is no such thing as tacky tourist items unless you live where these items are being sold.

French phrase of the day:Tous mes lecteurs sont paresseux