My First Kiss Went a Little Like This: I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO BE SOMEWHERE WHERE I'M NOT IN FREEZING RAIN, THANKS

We all love those first-kiss stories, don't we? The silliness, the romance, the mishaps--we just soak it up like lonely sponges. Sometimes, like in Disney movies, these kisses are magical and full of love and adoration and little sparrows come out and sing a song about true love and the sun sets and the evil villain is far far away. Unfortunately, my first kiss did not work out that way.

NOTE: This blog post is very embarrassing to me, so feel extremely blessed to have your little eyes absorb all my blushes and nervous typing.

My first kiss was March 23, 2009. I had just gotten a new boyfriend who seemed very intent of planting his face on mine, which, really, was exciting but seriously a red flag, looking back. Anyways, we had planned this out, because, you know, I'm a planner. It was at a church function at these peoples' home. Unfortunately, while their house is very pretty and scenic, it was raining. It was below freezing. I wasn't wearing shoes. He didn't really care, he just kept insisting to stay outside. Being blonde, I had no idea why in the world he would want to do that.

Anyways, so, we're outside, and I had just previously made my best friend's little sister upset, and now she's starting to cry in front of us. Like, full-blown sobs. We're sitting on a porch swing which really wasn't the cute, attractive kind, but the weird old-lady kind...hard to explain. Then, while I'm thinking "Dang this girl has GOT TO SUCK IT UP!" ....BAM! THIS BOY'S LIPS ALL OVER ME! I didn't even do anything. I just stood really still and kept my eyes open because I was so freaked out. I almost slapped him, I was so surprised. But, I didn't, and he pretty much swallowed my face as this girl was crying a river and I was freezing in my wet socks.

Worst first kiss EVER. In retrospective, I find it sad and humorous. At the time, I was just seriously annoyed. Now, I would never agree to that, and probably switch the boy, to be perfectly honest. But I don't really regret it, because I learned a few things:

1. When in panic, stay still and act like you're a tree. The person attacking your face will start to get the idea and back down.
2. Make sure the weather is lovely and not like that of a slasher film.
3. Never tick your best friend's little sister off beforehand, just in case a romantic moment should creep up on you.
4. If something doesn't go your way, and you wish you never did something, just laugh about it. Nine times out of ten, there's something humorous about it. Just learn from your experiences so you can create better ones with someone new in the future <3