Threadless Battle

Hey there, Remaining Readers! Seriously, you who are still reading, I hope you have oodles of blessings showered upon your quirky heads. You guys make my day. Total honesty.




TO THE POINT OF THE BLOG!!!!

Alright, folks. How many of you have heard of http://www.threadless.com/ ?
Anyone?
If not, let me give you the low-down of this awesome awesome site.
Threadless dot com is a place for user made graphic tees. If you've ever seen me lurking the streets in the dead of night, you know...I love ze graphic tees :3
So, I've been stalking threadless for years now, but always been very hesitant to buy anything (I fear online shopping...something like maybe they'll send me a piranha instead of a graphic T...). But this week, I looked in my tiny coffee change can and realized, I've got substantial amount of money. TIME TO BUY THE SHIRT.
Here's the thing...I'm torn between three shirts. Three gorgeous awesome graphic tees. And I need YOU, yes, YOU, to help me pick one out. So. Take a gander.#1--Called "colorblind" . I love the old movie theme and the explosion of colour :3
#2--Called "happily ever after". The love vibe is adorable, and the ink dripping--ahh <3
#3--Called "sunny leo". I wuv lions...lions who are colourful ^^

So, obviously, I can't decide, and I need to decide soon! So be a cool cat and post a comment saying #1, #2, or #3. Don't worry if you're not a member, I made it so EVERYONE can comment because I really need an answer!
Love you guys!
Hope your summer is the foshizzz.

A Semi-Eulogy

Summer is rapidly shutting off like a dying lightbulb but I'm still shaking some watts of voltage outta this light fixture before we have to turn out the light and pick up the boring books no one reads for fun.

IF you ask me, I'd say the education via school is a big fat waste of time. I haven't learned anything that important in school...and those people in that big white box absolutely drive me bonkers most of the day. I learn more in the summer. I'll tell you what I learned when I finally screw off the bulb *SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK*

You know what I still have to do? Read books like crazy, get some sno-cones at my favorite sno-cone stand of all time Frost Bites, watch all the Marilyn Monroe flicks on Netflix, have a photoshoot in a field, do my summer reading assignment, catch up on my superhero movies, buy actual clothing, and maybe dramatically change one or seven more things about myself...

Oh, summer, where are you slipping off to? Maybe when the summers die, they go up to heaven and stay up there. And when your life is over, and you leave this summerless world behind, you go up to heaven and there are all those good old summers waiting for you. Just miles and miles of carefree memories that you thought left ages ago. I think that's heaven. Just warm memories full of laughter and crazy fun. I'll leave at that note. Give me an echo to know you're there?

In Depth Fear: Shower Curtains

We all know I'm a bit quirky. OK, OK, very quirky. But you all love me, right? I feel like I'm talking to a brick...

HEY THERE.

Anyways! We all know that as a quirky person, it's only rational to have irrational fears. And I have several. In fact, I'm sure quite a few posts back, I've discussed several of these in list-form (because a Quirk loves to list things, right? 1. Why 2. Yes 3. Indeed). But today...today I wanna get up close and personal with a fear--The Fear of Shower Curtains.

I don't really know when this fear developed. Maybe after watching Haunting in Connecticut when the girl is getting strangled through the shower curtain. Maybe after watching Psycho. Maybe after The Grudge. All I know is, in horror movies? Bad stuff happens to chicks in the shower. Not dudes. GIRLS. What am I? A girl. Maybe this is why I'm a frequent bath-taker....

What do I do that makes me aware of my fear? Well, for one, I've always checked the curtain first whenever I enter the bathroom for any purpose. Cleaning, toilet-usage, washing hands--you name it, I'm looking behind the curtain. I also leave it partially open when I do take a shower, so that if any demonic presence wishes to strangle me, at least I'll see it in time to grab my shampoo bottle in fear.

The other thing I do is quite embarrassing. When a guest in others' homes, I like to check behind the curtains as well. And yesterday, for the first time, I was caught. This was extremely uncomfortable for several reasons, and because I'm a Quirk, I will list them.

1. I don't know if you know this, but I dress rather artsy. I exude the "I hate sports" vibe with my clothing. I was in a house full of the track team of my school.
2. I had always been looked at from an odd angle from all those present.
3. No one normal would ever check behind a shower curtain.

I usually check the curtain and say

"Oh! Hey! Nothing there!"

But yesterday, there was. And I freaked out. It turned out to be a vacuum cleaner (???) hidden in the bath tub. I was whispering to my friend about how this lady had a vacuum cleaner in her shower (once again--???) when my hostess overheard me.

Hostess: Jenna, did you check behind my shower curtain?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Hostess: What made you do that?

Me: I, uh, always check to see if there's someone in there trying to kill me.

*Whole room has nervous laughter*

On the plus side, one girl said she does that all the time....

Does anyone else? Comment :)

lessthanthreemilo@gmail.com

RANDOM FACT NO ONE CARES ABOUT: I have learned to draw the World's Cutest Vikings. I have no idea why I started drawing Vikings, but I have to admit, I am a beast at it.

Lovely Lunes

Good morning to the few Inklings I possess! Today's Monday again--time for something lovely!

Today's lovely thing is...*drumroll*: Netflix.

Yes, my friends, that sounds like product placement. But Netflix has been my absolute favorite commodity this week! I've watched a whole butt load of movies thanks to it!

And by butt load, I mean three.

1. Hello Dolly!
2. Funny Girl
3. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Instant is so accessible and I'm so happy that I can watch all my old movies :3 It's really been one of the major highlights of my summer.

What's something lovely about your lunes? Comment!

Send your random: lessthanthreemilo@gmail.com

Sorry Mommy Dearest...

Top Five Plus One Ways That I Will Not Be Like My Parents.

1. I shall not own one single dish that has or depicts fruit, leaves, or farm animals.
2. My bed sheets shall not have moose or grizzly bears on them or have random Christmas carolers... in the middle of July.
3. Just because it's all natural doesn't mean it smells good.
4. Do not buy an exotic pet that SPEAKS. Mainly the phrase "Jenna, shut up."
5. I will not proudly display all my books on the more intimate parts of marriage--especially where my daughter's boyfriend can see every time he visits.
6. I will not turn on the T.V. to better view the movie I'm already watching on my laptop.

Also.

I want you guys to send me as much junk and interesting random things you could possibly imagine. Maybe fan mail, hate mail, mail mail...send me whatever catches your fancy:

lessthanthreemilo@gmail.com

Bang bang bang. A drama.

Janey wanted bangs.

She'd been wanting them for a long time and tonight was the night she

was gonna get those straight, smooth, edgy bangs.

I had bangs once.

Those were the days when boys would run from me

And girls would take me to the playground to beat me up

Screaming how I looked like a poodle and how frizzy I was.

I hated bangs for years and years.

Haven't had them since 6th grade.

Last night was my first sleepover.

Probably my last, too, but Fortune was kind.

We were gonna be wild.

Originally, I suggested wacky hair dye--my preference in "rebellious".

But Janey wanted bangs.

It was 3:30 or something. We were watching Eat Pray Love which is absolutely horrible

We were all hyped up on lack of sleep, celebration, cookies, and Limited Edition Mt.Dew

I turn to Janey. We whip out the 17 Magazine "Cut Your Own Hair" article.

She cuts her bangs and they are beautiful. She looks like Feist. She looks Hipster.

I look in the mirror. I look hard. And I can't see Bangs on my Forehead.

All I see is this dorky, geeky, frumpy blob staring at me with a pasty face and droopy eyes.

"I want bangs, Janey. Can you cut them for me?"

Snip! Snip! Snip! Already the grief is settling in me. Already I start to feel hollow.

I'm not letting it show yet though. I'm cracking jokes and smiling and squealing.

Snip! Snip! Snip! It's getting shorter and shorter. This is a Bad Idea.

I'm still laughing and joking, but I can hear panic creep into my voice.

Snip!! Snip!! Sn---"That's long enough. Let's go look!" I sound so happy.

We straighten them. We examine. She looks sort of, well,

unsure??

I look into the mirror and see a blob staring back.

A blob with men's hair from 1973.

A blob that looks like a shaggy dog.

This wasn't a Bad Idea.

This was a Monsterously Idiotic Idea.

I can see my smile shatter and I can see my eyes dim.

We finish the movie and I silently fret. No big deal. No big deal. No big deal.

I crawl into bed. I crawl in and

I

fall

asleep

crying

over

hair

and

the

lack

of.

I wake up. I have forgotten. I touch my hair. There they are. Ugly Bangs with Fangs.

And I can think is how Ugly Ugly Ugly I am. And how I wanted to see my boyfriend the next day and now I can't because I look absolutely hideous and I would die if he could see me and what will my mom think when she sees how stupid I am and what will all my rich fashionable skinny friends think when they see how poorly cheap and stupid I am.

We call the Hair Stylist. She can get us in at 3. We wait and wait. I get in finally at 4:something.

Snip snip snip. "All about texture, Jenna. You just need texture."

I walk out feeling a lot better.

Till Wal-Mart. Where I can see my reflection flash on the glass doors holding frozen food.

I am five again. I look like my mother. I am five again. I am hideous. I am stupid.

I'm still that frizzy girl on the playground.

I see myself as a ghost because of hair.

Today, I've been banging my head on walls until I'm numb.

I can't handle stress and disappoint very well...

Today I've been crying on and off when Janey turned around.

I can't handle change very well either...

Today I've been wishing I didn't exist.

I have a self confidence issue.

That's my summer misadventure.

Quote Me as Saying I Was Misquoted

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"I have a mind to join a lub and beat you over the head with it."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. Yesterday is dead; tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."

"Why, I'd horse whip you if I had a horse."

"From the moment I picked up your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

--All quotes, including title, were made by Groucho Marx. I was only looking up one quote of his, the one about television and books, when I stumbled across all this. I was laughing for a good while and was thinking "I want to share this!" so here it is. I've never watched any of his movies, but he seems to be a very funny man, so I'm adding his films onto my list IMMEDIATELY.

Lovely Lunes

Hello there! I've been a tad forgetful to post anything recently, but I haven't forgotten to be consistent with my one weekly feature <3

Today's Lovely Thing is:

Old Movies





Recently, I've been craving old movies like chocolate. I just finished watching Nosferatu, a movie that was on my "To Watch" list for who knows how long. I'm so excited I got to see it, and I'm really surprised at how much I enjoyed it, even though it was a silent film! The acting was a little cheesy, but I like that about old movies. Everyone was super dramatic to make up for the lack of effects and budget. One of my favorite old movies of all time would be Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe. I think its plot line is ten times better than the chick flicks we're given today, and watching how all the men simply drool over Marilyn strikes me to be hilarious.
Other old ones I love are: Pretty in Pink, The Haunting on Hill House, Casablanca, The Bishop's Wife, Holiday Inn, White Christmas, Sound of Music, The Haunting, Psycho, The Birds, The Wizard of Oz, Meet Me in St. Louis, and The Canterbury Ghost.
Now we all know, I have a list fetish. And here's the Lovely Lunes Old Movie List of Movies I Want to Watch that are old:

1. Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock)
2. The Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock again...)
3. Dial M for Murder (Guess who directed this one...)
4. Wasp Woman (Old B-Horror film)
5. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (supposedly one of the best early horror films of all time)
6. The Red Shoes (I have no idea what this is about, I just love red shoes.)
7. Bonnie and Clyde (I love her style in this movie!)
8. Dear Sir With Love (I love the actor in this movie, I can't spell his name right, though..)
9. Flashdance (I own the shirt, I should see the movie.)
10. Breakfast at Tiffany's (I hated My Fair Lady, so I wanted to give Hepburn another try)

And that, my dear friends, is the lovely Lunes thing of the week. Grab an old movie and watch it in my honor, will ya? Also, leave a comment of your favorite old films, I'd love to get some recommendations! :D

The Awesomest Dead People Around

I'm in quite the bad mood. So I decided to fill the blog with death. Awesome death, though. Dead people can be cool.

Lovely Lunes

Lunes--Spanish word for Monday.

I've decided to have some consistency in my life besides sneaking chocolate on a daily basis.

Every Monday, the "worst" and most dreaded day of the week, I'm going to post something lovely.

love·ly

 [luhv-lee] adjective, -li·er, -li·est,noun, plural -lies, adverb

adjective

1.

charmingly or exquisitely beautiful: a lovely flower.

2.

having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well asto the eye, as a person or a face.

3.

delightful; highly pleasing: to have a lovely time.

The Lovely Things This Lunes is:

Organization.

I have just cleared out 5 drawers full of paper and random gizmos. Now everything is in a rightful place and my room is less cluttered and I have three bags of paper goods to recycle in the near future (says the notorious procrastinator). Some goodies I've found during my vicious rummaging:

1. A tree made out of gold wire and attached to a pink rock. Sooo pretty :3
2. 2 postcards to add to the 59 postcards I already own.
3. Letters from Hawaii from my childhood friend. She has the TINIEST writing I have ever seen.
4. A dozen old birthday cards from either people who hate me now, my parents, or dead relatives. I find this strangely calming.
5. About forty new words I love from an old day planner and four new quotes--NERD WIN!

Hope everyone's Fourth of July is full of fun stuff that has nothing to do with being patriotic! Like swimming and popsicles and not being stuck at home blogging! <3

My Favorite Words

1. Nook


2. Dismal


3. Paradoxical


4. Anomaly


5. Curiosity


6. Vintage


7. Cupcake


8. Soot


9. Ink


10. Tinkle


11. Impertinent


12. Impetuous


13. Crease


14. Silhouette


15. Metropolis


16. Deluge


17. Ponder


18. Meander


19. Mosey


20. Systematic


21. Cavern


22. Baubles


23. Lilt


24. Inkling


25. Margarine


26. Molasses


27. Spectacles


28. Drawl


29. Ostentatious


30. Stupendous


31. Wanderlust


32. Preserves


33. Archaic


34. Diabolical


35. Pamphlet


36. Exploration


37. Discovery


38. Precious


39. Trinket


40. Oracle

Biography of Mr. Bear

This is Mr. Bear. No first name. He finds those to be so demanding. Mr. Bear pretty much just kicks it all day. He's been around since June 10th, 1994. He was given to my mother for me via a random nun. He has been treasured dearly for years following, and is often spotted in all my baby pictures. He was quite the diva back then. He has been married 170 times to Mrs. Bear on several occasions, seeing how I loved to perform weddings as child. He also seems to have been taught 3rd grade seventy million times, seeing how I loved to pretend to be a teacher. He has eight children, all sold into slavery at a horrifying garage sale. His beloved Mrs. Bear, an ugly bear made out of carpet, has also met an untimely fate and was sent to live in quarantine in a Tupperware box in my garage. Mr. Bear copes with this by surfing the internet, writing Western novels, and cuddling with me all through the night.

Wish I May, Wish I Might

I wish:

1. That I had blue hair again. And pink hair. And purple hair. And red hair. I like colors.
2. That I had a tattoo.
3. That I had bubble bath
4. That I could actually be creative
5. That I could be a hipster
6. That that cupcake would be in my hands right now
7. That I had more followers
8. That I didn't have teenage skin
9. That I lived in my own place
10. That I could watch Harry Potter movies.

What do you wish? Holla!

The Things That Go Bump in the Night

When I'm up at 2 A.M. due to drinking green tea, I usually get really creative. Then I try to sleep. That involves turning off the lights. I'm petrified of the dark. Mainly because these images come into my head:

Oh geez. Now I'm freaked out again.

A Confession

I've committed adultery.

Simple as that. I wrote another blog, tried to love her as deeply as I love you all, and it failed. I felt this emptiness inside and I knew, baby, that I had to run home back to you.

If you want to see her, however torturous it may seem, this is her link: http://www.quirkymonsters.blogspot.com/

In the meantime, baby, let's forgive and forget. I'll take you out to dinner.