Biography of Mr. Bear

This is Mr. Bear. No first name. He finds those to be so demanding. Mr. Bear pretty much just kicks it all day. He's been around since June 10th, 1994. He was given to my mother for me via a random nun. He has been treasured dearly for years following, and is often spotted in all my baby pictures. He was quite the diva back then. He has been married 170 times to Mrs. Bear on several occasions, seeing how I loved to perform weddings as child. He also seems to have been taught 3rd grade seventy million times, seeing how I loved to pretend to be a teacher. He has eight children, all sold into slavery at a horrifying garage sale. His beloved Mrs. Bear, an ugly bear made out of carpet, has also met an untimely fate and was sent to live in quarantine in a Tupperware box in my garage. Mr. Bear copes with this by surfing the internet, writing Western novels, and cuddling with me all through the night.