"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"I have a mind to join a lub and beat you over the head with it."
"I intend to live forever, or die trying."
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. Yesterday is dead; tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
"Why, I'd horse whip you if I had a horse."
"From the moment I picked up your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it."
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
--All quotes, including title, were made by Groucho Marx. I was only looking up one quote of his, the one about television and books, when I stumbled across all this. I was laughing for a good while and was thinking "I want to share this!" so here it is. I've never watched any of his movies, but he seems to be a very funny man, so I'm adding his films onto my list IMMEDIATELY.
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