Here's a list I've compiled (when do I *not* compile a list for you?) that explains my reasonings for my fears of becoming a hoarder early on in life.
TRASH I DON'T LIKE TO THROW AWAY
- Glass Bottles. C'mon, think about it. What if I get stuck on an island and I have a pen and paper handy? Where am I going to get that glass bottle from? That ever-so-popular glass bottle tree? I don't think so.
- Paper. I usually have random seizures of creativity, and I need paper to protect me from a very fatal creative overdose. I may just spontaneously combust one day.
- The Paper/Plastic That Covers Your Straw. I usually twist it into a ring. In fact, if you ever eat with me, grab my hand and look at my fingers. I'll bet you five cents that I'll have a straw-paper ring on. Get your nickels ready.
- Broken silly bands. They look like animals. It's like throwing away a puppy. Who does that?!
- Midget pencils. You know what I'm talking about. Those pencils you've sharpened a zillion times and now it's a widdle stump of graphite? You and that midget pencil have been through a lot together...remember that math final you barely passed? That love note you wrote to that girl who smells like cabbage? It's equivalent to murdering a very handy secretary if you throw away a midget pencil. You're sick.
You know, I used to throw things away. I used to like to recycle things. But then I got teased a LOT. Who teases you about stuff like that??? What kind of person are you when your teasing tactic sounds like
"Hey! Hippie! Nice job saving our planet! Hahaha! YOU'RE A LOSER!"
There's really a lot to be said about the bullying of this day and age. It's not as vicious as it is obnoxious.
"Your hair is long!! You're a hippie!"
WAY TO GO, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. Why don't you write a novel, you wise old sage.
1. I totally do that. I have Jones and Dr. Pepper glass bottles sitting on my end table
ReplyDelete2. I also have ICODS (Inadvertent Creativity Overdose Syndrome) And I love it!
3. I don't even see how that's possible. Do you carry around tape? Ingenuity Points.
4. That's hilarious. I'm the opposite. I can't find any use for them once they're are broken, and I'm mad they got broken, thus I cannot stand them and throw them away.
-Reagan R. :)
1. I am Jones obsessed person. I've made it my life goal to drink every flavor. :D
ReplyDelete2. It's probably the only other great illness besides terrets, which lets you cuss people out by accident.
3. No, I tie and tuck. It's an ancient art form passed down through many a generation.
4. I use them until they are SUPER stumpy and then I keep them and remember the good ole times.