A Virtual Diary

I have just hopped off an emotional rollercoaster! I won't give you the dirty details because I feel like my personal life should be private. However, I will say that if you could pray for me to have great trust, patience, and peace I would greatly appreciate it because about twenty zillion things in my life do not seem to be going my way.
Really quick, I just want to give a sort of shout out to my amazing and sweet boyfriend. He is probably the only person who is as crazy as I am (but in a good way) without all the emotional psycho side effects and I just want to thank him with all my heart for dealing with me in this huge shift in my life. I seriously, honestly, truly, deeply, and foreverly love him.
Alright, kiddos, you can remove your faces from your barf bags conveniently located inconveniently for your time of upheaval. The mushy part of the movie is over. NOW FOR SOME BLOOD AND GUTS! *chainsaw ripping in the background and blood splatters onto the screen of your computer* Just joking with you. There is no movie on this flight, folks. Not even those disgusting peanuts or pretzels (pretzels > peanuts any day). I think we'll do something a widdle different this fine night, so sit back and enjoy the turbulence.
You have a secret. No, no, don't worry, I won't tell. Your secret is safe with me, even though I do find it abnormal for you to sleep with a duck plastered to your ears...oh...wait... My point is, EVERYONE has secrets. Even important figures do. Mark Twain probably had a secret, like maybe the secret that he dreamed of NOT being a riverboat captain, but actually a MERMAID and he just lied about it so that we would accept that Twain was from a boating term instead of his secret merman name. Tonight, I will be sharing with you a few secrets of my own and I would love it if you commented back some of yours, because, let's face it, nerds like us need to have a cyber sleepover moment.

SECRET #1: I hide some of my stuffed animals away because they scare me, but not because I think they look creepy. It's because I still partially believe that all my toys have a mind of their own. I know, they really don't, but sometimes I catch myself thinking that they do.
SECRET #2: I still wake my parents up in the middle of the night because I'm scared of the weird noises our house makes.
SECRET #3: I squirm when I watch movies with kissing in them, even though I don't squirm when I get kissed. *blushes* That truly is a good secret haha.
SECRET #4: I save rose petals from funerals and holidays because I know that the people they came from won't last as long as the petals will. I keep the rose petals from my boyfriend in a separate vase because I don't want the petals touching the ones belonging to the dead.
SECRET #5: I am severely superstitious but only to customs I created myself.
SECRET #6: When I was little, I created stories about my numbers as I learned math in school. To this day, I still say the stories in my head to help me with my homework, like "Nine and eight resolved their argument so they agreed to multiply and make seventy-two." I also happen to love the number nine because in my head she's a girl who is quite stubborn and never really listens to people and I find that hilarious.
SECRET #7: I once didn't talk to my sister for a year. That's actually not a secret, but the thing is, my sister never noticed. I was so mad at her for not even noticing that I was gone but I decided to grow up and talk to her even though, to this day, she doesn't realize that an entire year went by without me saying a word. And now I want to stop talking to her again just to see if she's that negligent about me again, but this time, I don't want to talk to be nice.
SECRET #8: I "broke up" with my best friend two weeks ago. I tore down all the photos of her I owned and I try to give away all her gifts or anything that reminds me of her. Everyone is happy that we're no longer friends, but I still fight the urge to call her at least once every two hours.
SECRET #9: I talk to my drawings because I worry that they're just as lonely as I am sometimes.
SECRET #10: I put on expensive clothes and makeup around my girl friends than my boyfriend because I know that they judge me fifty times more than he ever would.

Alright, the secrets are out of me and free in the world and I have to be honest, I'm rather frightened for saying all that. But hopefully, for a change of pace, you realize sometimes I can be serious, and I'm delusional but human. Like all humans, I am jealous, I am angry, I am loving, I am quirky, I am frightened, and most importantly, I am not perfect. Just thought you should know we have THAT in common.


"If you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug"--"All I Want is You" by Barry Louis Polisar