Weird Walks and Failed Attempts

Do you ever walk funny? I sure do. I just caught myself walking like a gay T Rex around my house. Not like I know what they walk like...but if I imagine myself as any dinosaur, gay T Rex would be in the top five.
But seriously, I have noticed a lot of funny walkers lately. Sometimes, I see the hurried walker. You know, that soccer mom at Wal-Mart who is pretty much sprinting just to get some freaking Cheerios. Actually, I saw a Hurried Walker sprint into Quik Trip as if her car was gonna explode if she didn't get some gas into it...is that even possible?
There's someone I know who has "the gait of a determined penguin". Basically, this person throws their arms back and leans forward and marches to wherever they need to go. I laugh all the time, but at least he's not a Gay T Rex Walker.
I am addicted, I admit it. To what exactly? Late Night talk shows. That is the way I learn the news, and no, I am not joking. So, I thought I would take a whack at it and look up some random news and try to make it humorous. Here we go! Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile! DananananananannanananaBATMAN!
Side note: I'm making these all entertainment because everything else is too sad.

Shrek the Fourth or whatever you call it is coming out soon. Is it just me, or is Shrek getting a little old? We've pretty much used every single fairytale character alive. Next we're gonna be making a movie with Shrek going into a nursing home ran by Thumbellina and everything's too tiny for him so he gets Donkey and Puss to have a seance with Baba Yaga to get Fiona back but Fiona comes back as Mickey Mouse and Dreamworks officially gets flushed down the toilet. On an unrelated note: Does anyone remember what the Dreamworks music theme was BEFORE Shrek came out? Because now they strictly use Fiona's song that she sings in the first one, and I don't recall the music before....

Lindsay Lohan got arrested for not showing up for a court date. I think we have started arresting her a long time ago, because, really, she hasn't shown up for any regular date in a long time...like, you know, a date with MEN.

Bret Michaels keeps going in and out of the hospital. I wonder if any of the nurses are skanky and have lip rings. Because then I would understand him going in and out besides health reasons of course.

Ok, that sucked. I am never doing that again! Hopefully a laugh escaped your lips at least once. Chow, babies.

MacGruber is a full length movie made out of a sketch ninety seconds long...SNL is a genius.