"All That's Waiting is Regret"

Bam! Bam! CHICKAPOW! WOOP! BANG! ALAKAZAM! ZOINK!

You people. You always copy my blog. Then you forget it exists. My blog is not a one night stand. Seriously, it loves commitment. Subscribe to it, so at least it feels like your little fling is still something you think about late at night while you ferociously type into your blog that chances are will bore you.

I'm just teasing, halfway. Although, this blog has inspired 11 blogs and counting. So, here is all the advice I shall ever give you, and after that, I'm shutting up. Because although I wish you well, about only 4 of those 11 actually stuck to it.

~advice~

1. Do not tell me about everything about your day. Now, you can tell me interesting bits, but if it goes like "Today, I ate a sandwich, thought of my ex-girlfriend, and then read a whole book in the bathroom", then people don't care anymore. You gotta be fresh. Like this "Today, I had a near-death experience choking on my sandwich. Do people actually die from that? Gosh, wouldn't that be awful? I can see my ex-girlfriend crying at my funeral and be all sobbing and wailing "I TOLD HIM LAY OFF THE HAM AND CHEESE! BUT DID HE LISTEN?! NOOO!" But I'm safe. So safe that I read an entire book while in the little boys room. Because, genius like this don't just die on sammichs. I'm not going out like Mama Cass." Now, don't do that exactly, but twist wit and unusual facts in as much as possible. BASICALLY: NO BLAND NEWS.
2. Do not EVER use names, situations, or events that people can easily guess who you are talking about. That is considered GOSSIP and I pinky promise, they will read it, and you will have drama. I've unfortunately realized this several times. If you're good at being vague, you can POSSIBLY talk about it. But, if you're a noob, just lie low.
3. DO focus on your topic DON'T focus on your layout. If it draws the readers' attention away, chances are, they're not technically readers. Eh?

That is all my advice. If you seek more, meet me on the mountainside with six fat opera singers. Then carefully milk a newt and inject it into your fifth opera singer's vein, while slapping the thigh of the third. Then quote all you can from Princess Bride. THEN, and only then, shall I answer your blogging questions. Either that, or Facebook me. Or ask me out. ;D Just joking, prospective marriage proposals!

Bang! Zoop! Wonk! Beeep! Scadobadoo!

The freakiest thing I have ever seen (besides my hair when I wake up after taking a shower) would be in sixth grade when I worked at a haunted theater. I kid you not, this place was legit haunted. I had heard several stories about it, but you know, I'm a natural cynic, therefore, a natural skeptic. Then, one day while rehearsing, my best friend and I were playing a game with my other friend (I think hide and seek). We ripped open the Boy's Dressing Room door, trying to find our other friend, but he wasn't there. We decided to look around (C'mon--it's where BOYS get to go! Why wouldn't I?). We were having a ball messing around with all the props when we heard this rattling behind us. We turned and saw the doorknob shaking like someone was jiggling it from the other side. I laughed, thinking it was my friend, and opened the door. No one was on the other side. My girl friend and I called out his name, expecting him to pop out, but he was nowhere to be seen. I looked back at the door and pointed. At the angle which the door was ajar, you could see both handles. They were both shaking vigorously without either of us laying a hand on it. We ran off, and tried to tell our other friend, but he just laughed and he still doesn't believe we saw what we saw. I know what we saw. And it was real. I promise. It was real.

"The mirror never lies. I see what they see. Do you not see what they see? A mirror never lies. Everybody knows. Everybody knows!"--Alesana.