"Scotty Liked All the Books That I Recommended"

One. I threw up today. A lot. While watching everyone in my youth group throw up. Just so you know, drinking blended Chicken Strips, Ketchup, Sprite, and Fries is something that will make me never eat Sonic again in my entire life. I do not even want to describe the sickness I feel. Two. I miss you, too, person whose blog I just read. (That was for just that person, not you other random peeps.) Three. Now that I said peeps, I am reminded of this day I worked at the library, and my boss brought these boxes of peeps and we blew them up in the microwave. We pretended they were jousting. Best. Boss. Ever. Four. I wrote down all these upcoming blog ideas in church. I seriously did listen in church, but when you have a good idea, you just gotta capture it like a wild zedonk, which is a zebra/donkey hybrid. If you don't believe me, look it up.

So, I was reminded of my Girl Scout experiences while turning down some cute little Daisy Scouts at Reasor's. Wait, first of all, what is the method of naming the Scout levels? Daisies, Brownies, Juniors, Cadets. Obviously, someone was tripping on shrooms while naming these organizations.

Founder of Girl Scouts: What should we call the kindergarten group?

Pot Smoker Name-Delegator: DAISIES!!!!!!!

F.o.G.S.: What about the elementary?

P.S.N.D: BROWNIES!!!!!

F.o.G.S.: Middle school?

P.S.N.D: ...Juniors.

F.o.G.S.: High school?

P.S.N.D.: CADETS!

F.o.G.S.: You sneaked pot into the Thin Mints again, didn't you?

P.S.N.D: .....

Seriously, though, Girl Scouts was not fun at all. The best thing we ever did was go to San Antonio, the only respectable place in Texas, in my opinion. But there was this girl who used to pee on my bed every camping trip and this other girl who tried to sleep in my bed every night because she was scared of spiders and this other chick who spat Jell-o all over me. ... Not fun. I don't really get what I learned from them, except maybe, using them to actually get a decent Summer Vacation to Sea World...maybe.

LIST TIME! ...You seriously didn't think I'd let you go away without a list?

My lust list. No, perverts. I mean, things I really want but cannot afford due to me having the same income as a dead guy.

• Oxford shoes. Oooohhhh good grief. So classy. So simple. Brrr sends shivers down my spine. The only thing better than a girl in Oxfords is a dude in Oxfords, because that is just plain classy. Way to go, Stylish Man. You rock my world.

• Wild Things by Dave Eggers. The cutest, most beautiful book I've read in a long time. Totally kicks Twilight's sparkly little butt. (Although I do actually enjoy Twilight. Just not the "Twilight Phenomena". Get a life, People Who Pretend to Read.

• A Bird Cage. So I can tie a string of paper cranes to it, like they're coming out? Above my bed :D And inside will be all the letters I have, because my letter box is A)LAME! and B) A shoebox.