Necklace Creepers, Philosophy, and Confusión de Baño

Hello howdy good day/night to you Inkli-doodle dandies! :D You think I'm in a good mood, don't you? That's the wonderfulness of Internet--I can mislead you to believe anything. Truth is, I'm about to hang myself in the middle of my living room because the world is cruel and unfair. Just kidding. Seriously. No need to call Suicide Hotline, people, I'm fine. I just wanted to show you how the Internet is the perfect mask to make everyone seem like perfect people. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Maybe that one kid on Facebook who's constantly happy may actually be seriously sad. Or maybe that other kid on MySpace isn't so depressed after all. Truth be told (or is it?) I'm actually sorta sad but not entirely grief-stricken. So no need to lavish sympathy. No sympathy on the blog, InkWinks.
Today, and for most of my teenage years, I have gotten the Necklace Creeper Stare. See, this is why boys don't follow my blog--they fear topics like this. I'm sorry, men, but you are actually some of the people participating in this serious offense to womankind everywhere. So listen up! We need to raise awareness! You idiotic people: Stop staring at my necklace. It looks like you're checking out something else. Simply briefly glance at the necklace, then politely ask me what my necklace is. Do not grab for my necklace, unless you want a can of mace in your precious Creeper eye. Do not try to stare the necklace down, or it may just pull out a gun and shoot you, mistaking your innocent Creeper Curiosity for a necklace/human show down. Also, it gives the wrong impression. So quit it, Necklace Creepers. Just say no.
I have recently discovered a whole new world for me. *breaks out singing "A Whole New World", flies onto her magic carpet, and sails off with a genie in a lamp* This world is the world of pop culture philosophy books. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here are a few books: Alice in Wonderland and Philosophy, The Matrix and Philosophy, Twilight and Philosophy, The Beatles and Philosophy, Metallica and Philosophy, The Office and Philosophy, and Facebook and Philosophy. Are you not blown away? I personally ordered the Beatles and Philosophy, so I'll tell you how that works out for me.
Last thing: Do you go to Mexican restaurants? Here's the thing about those places of torture. They refill your drinks as if you haven't had a glass of water in eighteen weeks. I have no problem with that. But my bladder does. So, of course, like every human being in the planet, I have to go to the bathroom. But this is where the Mexicans decide to have a little fun with ya! THEY WRITE THE GENDERS OF THE BATHROOM IN SPANISH! Now, listen, I would be peeved if America hated my people swimming in their rivers, too. But not peeved enough to have people who need to pee-pee explode in my restaurant because they couldn't figure out what "hombre" meant. I thank God every time I'm in a Mexican restaurant that I took Spanish 1 in 7th grade. Or else I would have to ask the waiter where the bathroom is. You know how embarrassing that is? A huge bother to me is accents. Don't get me wrong, I love accents to death. It's understanding them that irritates me. The Mexican waiter will be blabbing to me instructions on how to get to the bathroom, but thanks to his accent, he could be giving me instructions on how to set a nuclear bomb for all I know.
So, word of advice: Learn genders in all languages.
Spanish: Male:hombre Female:mujer
French:Male: homme Female: femme
Russian: Male: мужчина Female: женщина
Gangster: Male: Guys Female: Dolls
Gangsta: Male: Bros Female: Shawties

Good luck! Remember: Don't grab necklaces unless you want to be blind! Comment like you're schizo! Watch How To Train Your Dragon--it was awesome! AND! Don't drink and drive!

P.S. I am not racist towards Mexicans. I happen to be in love with one, so can it.
P.P.S. No, I cannot pronounce the Russian words. But you only need to know what they look like to go pee, so quit whining.
P.P.P.S. Thank you Google Translator!
P.P.P.P.S. I'd like to thank all my friends and family--starting with everyone I knew in order! The doctor and nurse who brought me out the womb, Mom, Dad, Sissy, Aunt, Grandpa, Grandma, Cousin, Uncle.........................................