Having Fun with Gothic People

Today is my newly appointed "National Gothic Day"! This is the day where I will be laughing at some overly obsessed gothic websites. As a disclaimer, I do not hate goths, in fact, I'm rather good friends with a few. I used to like them a lot, but these next websites give me a tiny reason to smirk when I see one pass by.

Website Number one: It's a gothic dress website. Let me first list off some of the clothing's names.
"Alice's mourning tea dress"
"Strict and unforgiven pinstriped corset"
"Love's devastation floral cape" ...how can you say floral and devastation at the same time??
"Tortured souls black and torn and tattered corset"
"Victorian misfit gown"

I think if I ever open a goth store, it will be called "Sunshine and roses with a side of massacred stuffed animals"....
The second thing about this website is the descriptions of the outfits. Let's start with "Alice's Mourning Tea Dress": The ever exquisite Alice mustn't be late for her tea party. This dashing dress full of misery and torment will showcase the beauty of your pale face and glistening tears.

Why would I wear a dress full of misery and torment? I thought that was HEEL'S job.

This next outfit is called "Love's Restraint Buckle Jacket". If you look closer, this thing is a STRAIGHT JACKET. This is the description: Love's Restraint French Buckle corset is the only thing that keeps me from going insane and massacring the severed love strings of my heart

See, I had no idea I had love strings. But I wouldn't massacre them. I would go to an actual DOCTOR and get that checked out. Then again, maybe it was the doctor who gave you the straight jacket in the first place.

The next website was a gothic media website. There it had these dolls for sale that looked like Chucky and were bleeding and demonic. There's a "fun charm" that comes with these dolls "that combines with one another!" AKA--A heart necklace that connects with a bloody knife. I can't WAIT to get my kids this one day! Directly underneath it was posters for sale. You're probably expecting Marilyn Manson or some zombie stabbing its heart out, correct? Wrong. These posters are of FAIRIES. I think gothic people just got a little lamer in their merchandise department...

So that is my mini-post of gothic media. I hope you laughed a few times, cause I sure did. If you want to check this things out, simply type in "Gothic dresses" in Google like I did. You can maybe broaden your search, but I was seriously looking for dresses. You men may want to have another tab saying "Football" or "Video Games" on hand, just in case your mom walks by, though. :) Comment if you love the color black, blue, purple, red, green, orange, or yellow! :D

Little tip for extra laughs: You should start to read my tabs...you'll find some things unexpected.